Urban Renewal in Detroit. Is an exciting prospect.

I went to Detroit towards the beginning of January hoping to be a part of or exposed to something big. I had an impression that in a city like Detroit, on the verge of bankruptcy, creative problem-solving would be rampant in the approach to the problem that has been featured in the media for so long of the abandoned houses and empty blocks.

The freedom for creativity was definitely evident in certain places. While in Detroit a friend of Mia's (a good friend from Oberlin) grandfather was generous enough to host us for lunch and offer us an extensive tour of the city. He drove us to a street where few houses were left standing and of those that were, an artist who had grown up on that block transformed the houses and yards into an Alice in Wonderland-like alternative world. Some houses had Picasso-inspired paintings in every window and doorway. Another was decorated with records, another with dolls and stuffed animals. All together it was an effective assault on the eyes and eery. The artist explicitly tied his art to opinions about political issues such as health care and the environment.

I was amazed at how pervasive the abandonment of houses seemed. Even in nice neighborhoods of the historically elite the problem penetrated. The group of Oberlin students was brought to Highland Park for the purpose of taking a house that had been low on the demolition list and remodeling it. Not only did we intend to make it livable, but also to make it carbon neutral.

There was an incredible example of green construction in downtown Detroit at a business center called the Green Garage(http://greengaragedetroit.com/index.php?title=Main_Page). In the remodeling of the building the couple who started this venture tried to used all recycled materials, and occasionally they would adapt the design plan in order to incorporate materials that surfaced during the demolition or from other sources. The building had several remarkable features, but I think my favorite was a wall that greets people entering from the outside that goes all the way to the ceiling of this warehouse and was made up of recovered bits of wood put together in a beautiful pattern.

Back to the house. A week into the demolition and cleaning process, a green building contractor came through to share his insights. He was appalled at our safety precautions. Apparently the group had been working in asbestos and lead paint for the week. I am not sure what long-term consequences are to be had from one week of exposure to these poisons but the efforts on the house were largely derailed thereafter. We didn't have the funds to undertake the project even with the safety equipment. We barely had the means to demolish the house which would not have compared to the price of rebuilding it into a carbon-neutral structure.

Although there was a feeling of discouragement in the group, it was remarkable observing how people responded to this crisis. The leaders of the group were good about understanding people's feelings and discouragement while also trying to facilitate alternatives.

I think the major problem with this whole project was that the group wanted to engage in action. Action is appealing when it seems those in power are stagnant and unable to do anything about the pervasive problems we identify around us. However, action without forethought or understanding not only has the potential to uselessly address a boil when the problem is in the blood but may also exacerbate the problem or create another.

I think there is a fine balance to to be sought, which may require risking counterproductive action for a moment of eureka to be arrived at. Our group did not have a long enough commitment to Highland Park for this risk to be worthwhile. I think our group needlessly risked becoming a further problem for this community to contend with. Although towards the end of the trip there seemed to be a concerted effort to meet and organize with community members, I felt that our action and group occupied this community like paratroopers landing ready for action but insufficiently briefed ahead of time.

Reflecting upon my experience working with students, I think expectations determine a huge percentage of a student's performance. Low expectations can be communicated in a multitude of ways. I found myself constantly underestimating the capacity of my students to complete problems because I didn't want them to get frustrated and give up. Working with them, my clues would go from tools to precise hints.

I fear that our work in Detroit was a precise hint. When I was working on the garden of the soon-to-be demolished house, picking up layer after layer of trash, I was stopped by a woman who was walking by. She appeared homeless and we talked for a long time about a range of topics (constipation to greens to the ill-intentioned white rulers of the city). At one point she asked me why I listened so much. I listened too much. I told her I didn't realize this was possible- I thought listening was a good thing. She shook her head and indicated the house saying that she wanted a job and she was hungry. After a while it seemed like she was asking why were we listening when by our working on this house we were showing we had something to say- something to teach. She wanted to learn so that she too could work.

There were organizations in Detroit that did provide tools for communities. One that sounded great was a program that taught Detroit youth how to work on houses to make them livable. It would have been so cool to have joined that organization and to have sought out the guidance of the experienced youth- give them a rudder in their communities to enact real change. The truth is that the group did not have much to teach. We did, however, have manpower and an eagerness to learn.

As it was, I wondered if we weren't crippling this community by the appearance of our entrance to do work that ultimately concerned them giving the appearance that we understood and acting as if they needed our assistance. Even if individuals and leaders of our group did not believe that, outsiders often conclude based on appearance.

I learned a lot and feel blessed to have gone to Detroit (which completely lived up to my mythological portrait). I think these projects seem to be headed in a productive direction as community members are consulted more. However, I am still wary of the appearance of outsiders working to make changes that more directly impact the onlookers.

"Who Let The Dogs Out?" Wwoof Wwoof Wwoof

Hey Everybody-

You join me tonight after 2 weeks of full-time work on Sunny Meadow Farm. It has been pretty labor-intensive and strenuous (Kieran and I are doing a lot of stretches and abs to counteract the tension in our lower backs).

Despite the intensity of the work, I am grateful we are doing this (Kieran concurs at Keepingupwithkieran.blogspot.com). Already many things in my perspective on food and farming have changed. (Check this website out if you are interested: http://www.sweetpoison.com/aspartame-side-effects.html)

So we have been doing a lot of work. Sometimes the hours pass swiftly by and sometimes 8 hours seem like 168. However, time doesn't exist when I am SIDESHOOTING and digging up spuds; it crawls by the second when I work with my greatest enemy on the farm: the hoe... which will, for a while I am sure, provide fresh meat for my nightmares.

My favourite farm-related activity, pruning tomato plants, involves cutting off the shoot above the second to lowest flowering stem, ensuring that the plant climbs up the rope, and the best part... SIDESHOOTING! This is a rewarding process requires both efficiency and care as one rifles through all the nodes of the plant to ensure that another stem is not trying to weasle it's way out. The pleasure I get out of locating these sneaks and snipping them off is akin to the I felt like I had loosened the collar of a dog who clearly had been struggling for some time. Each time I accomplished this my passageways would open as if they too had been choking.

I also relish planting in straight rows and columns. It is strangely satisfying to see the result at the end: evenly spaced plants in relatively straight lines. It's great. Digging up spuds is like mining for gold, except it's more lucrative.

Please make comments! (Kieran and I are having a (one-sided) competition over who will receive more!!!)

Until next time.

Mid Year Report.

5 months and 1 day until I graduate from City Year.

5 months minus 2 days since I commenced my service year.

This obvious mid-way point as well as a number of other factors made me pause and consider my year up to this point and how I anticipate it's progress in the months ahead of me.

City Year is a goal. It's rather easy to get caught up in the world of kids, focusing on individuals and the necessities of the school, and forget the excitement that is the progress of City Year. Each year, corps members have an opportunity to contribute to the ongoing construction of an organization that has so much potential; the more City Year accomplishes and the harder individuals work, the greater the probability that next year more children will be reached.

I have been reflecting on this statement often lately as the mindset of focusing on the longterm impact has become especially relevant for my team. We were told shortly after we returned from break that we are not getting the typical corps member experience, which includes, but is not limited to a day full of interventions, initiatives in anything from attendance to behavior, and frequent communication with all levels of the school's staff.

The Boston Renaissance Charter Public School team has been thrust into a complex hierarchy that was reluctant to make room, and when room was made, opposed to give us much of a role. We are not needed at our school. Our school has everything from 2-teachers per classroom to many psychologists and behavior specialists to skilled math and english coaches. Our school is so well equipped that our ideal position, which includes bits and pieces of what my school already has in abundance, is excessive and would have been complex to establish.

Due to pressure from City Year, the school has begun to hash out more productive things for us to do, such as focusing on a specific list of kids (a list other schools have had since the very beginning) who we will pull out of class to do interventions in english and math. Unfortunately, this list and plan came directly from the principal of our school, who is currently on leave. She did not consult the echelons in between: the specialists and teachers, who are consequently reluctant to give up their students during what is otherwise a science or writing bloc, or question our ability to be effective in administrating interventions. City Year is now determining whether a team will return next year, which understandably seems doubtful.

Out with the bad and in with the good. My team has been disappointed with the limitations and jealous of the incredible work other teams are doing and the support and encouragement they receive from the administrations. In spite of these negative factors, the majority of my teammates have remained very positive, and seek any means of making an impact.

One aspect of our service that I feel good about is the after-school program, Starfish. In that arena I think I have made the most personal progress, and I think our team had been in its element in confronting and overcoming the various hurdles we have faced. I was, at the beginning of the year, a non-factor when it came to managing behavior in my classroom. The three other team members in my classroom have been an integral source of patient guidance for me. I finally feel that I have a presence in the classroom beyond being mildly liked by the students and sought out when they wish to vent or avoid punishment. At the beginning I was well liked by the students, but because I was lame in enforcing the classroom expectations, I did not garner respect. I am very content with the medium I have recently achieved, and I now sense that the positive feelings some students have for me are more durable because I have finally started to assert myself as an authority while maintaining the fun at appropriate times.

In our after-school program there is an hour of application to homework and one hour of programing designed by my team. Each member has to create one lesson plan per month that will be used by the entire program, and one lesson per week that will be used on Wednesdays, for club days. I am currently working on a lesson plan for 2 days in February (one of which is my birthday!) with my friend and teammate, Uma, that I am incredibly excited about.

In light of Black History month, Uma and I decided to create a game that combines the Titanic exhibit (COSI anyone?), LIFE (the board game), and Oregon Trail (computer game) bringing the kids back to the height of the Civil Rights Movement and engages them in the decisions that were made by average citizens. In the game, their decisions will determine the hurdles they will face and where they ultimately end up. It is very much still in the works as we came up with this idea yesterday. Any input would be very much appreciated! Ideas anyone?

This is one of many events or happenings I have to anticipate for the remainder of the year. I am also preparing for a 1/2 marathon with potentially 5 or more other City Year members; we start this week. Kieran and I are planning for our Ireland trip taking place this summer. I have been contacting a number of different farms that we may work at, and have received responses from a couple. This is the second half of my sojourn in Boston and I am determined to take advantage of all the city and area have to offer. I will be visiting the JFK library, John Adam's house, and Salem (to see my second cousin Meg). Uma, her sister, Tara, and I are planning a snowboarding/ skiing venture. In March I will be visiting a neighbor that used to live on my street who currently resides in Maine. Finally, I am anticipating visits from my familia later in Spring!

I am going to have a great second half of the year. I am excited about enhancing the relationships I have developed with my students and doing whatever I can to be a source of encouragement and support in their lives.

If you have any questions or opinions of what I have expressed in this blog, please feel free to comment or contact me somehow.

Nora Ryan Signing Out.

It is hard to believe that I last posted on this blog a month ago. So much has happened since that I hardly know where to start.

I suppose it is good to start regarding my role at the school. My role has been ambiguous at best and nonexistent at worst. Because conduct in my classroom can be out of control, and is always teetering towards chaos, my role in the classroom has understandably not been a high priority for the teachers. Fortunately, this week I will start to have a more consistent job. I will be running a center in the classroom focused on the students that are either doing well or are on the verge of success. Even the kids that do well on tests fail to complete and turn in work, because concentration is such a grind in my classroom. There is so much movement and action going on, that even if the noise level is reasonable, the students' attention is perpetually diverted.

Every week I find that I enjoy more and more what I am doing. This is mostly due to the relationships I am developing with my students. In the past two weeks, I have made breakthroughs with most of the students that were the most resistant. It is so exciting. Students that really struggle to do work in class, and apparently everywhere else, sought me out to see if they could work with me in the hall. I even had a group of the most disruptive students in the hall with me, and they were working silently and independently on their work.

One of the girls in that group will do anything to avoid work: going to the nurse, getting a folder, binder, pencil from the classroom next door, the bathroom, and sometimes she just leaves the classroom without asking. Another girl in the group has been in the past the student that has shown me the most disrespect. She has yelled at me in front of other students, demanding to know why I am at the school, saying that I need to back off and mind my own business, etc. This week, for the first time, she did what I asked of her without challenging me, she participated in this group with her best friend (the before mentioned spas) and she worked silently. There were two other boys in the group as well, one of which is one of the lowest performers in the class, and the other performs well, but in the meantime distracts everyone around him. They both did their work and I only had to redirect them to focus twice in 45 minutes (this is really good for those of you that are unimpressed).

When students have missed days over the past couple of weeks, I have had the opportunity to take them out in the hall and catch them up on the book, "Number the Stars", that they are reading in class. I had to read four chapters with a tough group one day, and the last two chapters they were really struggling to concentrate. I recalled that one of the senior corps members had mentioned doing something called readers theater with his kids. I really didn't know how that worked, but I thought maybe if I mix up the way I read the kids will be more engaged. So I read the remainder in accents. Later that week, I decided that it could be even better if I acted out what exactly was happening as I read, and this worked pretty well. I think next time I will encourage any students I do this with to do the acting themselves.

The other day I was working in the hall with one of the lowest performing students on independent work. Independent work is supposed to be independent, so I was trying to lend the least amount of support possible, while still encouraging her to keep at the work successfully. She was really struggling to think of an antonym for town, so I started asking her questions that I thought might help her in the thought process. She wasn't getting it. I was so tempted to tell her the answer, because I thought, "She is so far from getting this answer that maybe I should give her just this one", but I just couldn't do it, we had spent too much time on the question. Finally, I physically saw a light bulb go off in her head and she shouted, "City". We were so excited that we did several celebration handshakes before returning to work.

Another kid, D, that I don't have a chance to see very often, because he is in a resource room with one of my teammates, but that I feel unusually drawn to, is another that would just dismiss me like I was dirt on his shoulder the first several weeks. A while ago he was not able to go to the resource room, and he so he chilled on the carpet in my room reading a NFL magazine. He finished with the magazine and was about to go to sleep, so I decided to take him to the library thinking that maybe we could find some more sports magazines he would be interested in; at least he would be reading.

In our walk to the library, our discussion of sports somehow morphed into one on animals, and we ended up spending about 45 minutes in the library looking for books on animals. He is especially intrigued by spiders. We finally ended up talking about aliens and the universe and how he enjoys watching the discovery channel. He asked me some questions that I could not answer, so he asked if we could search for the answers on google. Reluctantly, thinking that I had not brought him to the library to get on the internet, I said yes. Well, each time we found an answer on google, one of us came up with another question to ask, and we got progressively excited. Finally, we ended up searching what would happen to the earth if it would lose the its atmosphere. I think I learned more than he did.

D makes himself coffee many mornings, takes care of younger siblings, and doesn't seem to have many close friends, although people in the class seem to revere and respect him. He is passionate about basketball, football, and aliens. He seemed to me strangely independent. I made headway with him in the library, and since he has respected me and responded to me in a way I wouldn't have imagined after the first two weeks in school. He had a really rough day recently and was sent to the disciplinarian's office. Turns out an agency was coming to take his brother away the following day.

Growing up I have been aware of similar stories, but for me they seemed so overwhelming that they became insurmountable. I wonder if despite all D has had to deal with, someone like me, someone who is only in his life for one school year, can make a lasting difference. I suppose I am doing City Year, because I do believe in the power of an individual who really cares and believes, but at the same time, D is a twelve year old who has had to work against nature. It is hard to imagine anyone growing up and moving beyond such circumstances. I love what I do more and more because I understand more fully every week that I am part of a movement to empower these kids to rise above their experiences. City Year wouldn't exist if this really wasn't possible.

Bing!

Bing! in City Year is supposed to reflect a revelation of some kind. I had this revelation talking to my family about the fact that I was already struggling with my attitude towards working at the school. I felt that my experience during the few days I spent at the school the month of September were divided into small moments. Before this past week the bad moments in the classroom outweighed the positive ones. I was overwhelmed by the prospect of feeling this way for the next 10 months. Talking with my family, I had a Bing! moment.

It is up to me to tip the scale in the positive direction. I believe we have that conscious power, so I tried it. Monday morning I kept repeating to myself that, no matter what, I would have an "excellent day". I did. Every day I had an excellent day.

I truly reveled in the positive moments. The negative downers were still there, in fact, there was one very down moment during the course of one day, but still, by the end I felt like the negative moments held little consequence for me. For example, I was given a small group to work with in filling out their study guide for a test they were to have on Friday. This group consisted of the students that struggle the most in the class. I started out with 6 kids and ended with 3. During the course of the 45 minutes I was with the whole group the teacher kept stopping the class to say that it was too loud, especially my group in the corner. When I was focused on helping one kid on a question, the others would start talking about shoes. I tried incorporating everyone in answering people's questions, but most kids had no recollection of the book we just finished reading in class, so they weren't much help to each other. 3 kids got so frustrated that I could not focus individually on them that they up and left. I didn't even try to stop them, knowing that it was a lost battle. (I am now very deliberate on what I choose to take up with the kids.)

I was supposed to have my own group with the second class we work with after lunch, but that didn't happen. The first was not a great success. I told my teammates this story, and they expressed their condolences, but that was not what I was looking for. I viewed that experience comically. So far I feel that I have been effective in floating around the class working with individuals, but I am definitely going to have to work on my capacity to work with a group. I am not discouraged, because I know it will take time and I already have ideas that I need to share with my teachers on what I can improve.

I have not had to consciously twist all my negative stories into comedies in order to feel good about this week. I have also had overwhelmingly good experiences too. One kid in my class, Lance, is always in trouble. He is always shouting out, saying rude and disrespectful things. Whenever I went up to him he would groan and mutter mean things about me "under his breath" (although it was all sufficiently loud to be understood). One day I asked him why he always groaned and said mean things to me, and I said it in a joking-"I will keep checking in on you kind of voice", and he just smiled to himself and turned away. On Thursday he was in the group described in the previous paragraphs, and although he saw his classmates freely leaving the group, he stayed, and seemed to want (although he did not actively seek) my assistance.

Also we have been running the after school program for the first time this week, and there is one kid in my teammate, Jeff's, class who apparently is the biggest negative influence in the class. I have made a really strong connection with him some how in after school. On Thursday he stayed behind after kids had gone down to snack, and when I suggested that he join them, he said he wanted to wait for me.

The smallest things weigh the most for me right now.

Not Hopeless

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2010/09/29/cruel_boston/

A three year old was intentionally shot and killed in Boston. This is not hopeless, it is outrageous. I do not believe that anyone can be born "bad", although it is tempting to attribute an innate disposition to the horrors we hear of. Consequently, we do not have to try and comprehend how someone just like ourselves could murder a defenseless child. We choose not to grapple with the fact that we have been raised in the same society that can deform people to such an extent that they rip apart peoples' lives. The disturbing fact is that these murders are only surprising relative to the three year old. However, I find that I am not shocked when I hear of the murders that take place on a regular basis. I am not shocked and therefore unaffected. I am unaffected and therefore do nothing.

If we are not innately evil, then there must be potential for good. I think the question is what was missing in the lives of the murderers that made them who they have become. How can someone be deprived of a chance to exploit their goodness? My sense, based on my own upbringing, is that these people, as children, were not exposed to an alternative. These people, as adults, were given up as a lost cause. As alternatives, no matter how profoundly an alternate, we are obligated to provide that exposure. I think the more we take it upon ourselves to do this, the less likely our three year old neighbor is to be shot.

The founder of City Year, Michael Brown, envisions the national service movement expanding to such an extent that in addition to asking young people where they plan on attending college, we will be asking what they plan to do for their year of service. I graduated with a class of 300. Imagine 50% of my class chose to do a year of service, and each affected on average 2 people. Pretend 50% of all high schoolers in Columbus opted for a year of service and each profoundly impacted 2 people. Ripples start small, with individuals, but I think we must believe in their potential to spread and build upon each other. Finally, we will have a powerful movement of change, but we must take the first step as individuals.

I heard about this today and wanted to write in addition to what I wrote yesterday.

Nora

Experiences with the Kids

Next Monday I start working full time in the school. I will be there doing in class support from 7:40 until 3:30, and then I help run an after school program until 5:30. Recently I have been in the classroom a couple of days a week, during which time I have experienced some sparkling moments as well as many extended moments of trial. It is challenging for me to tap into patience and trust that eventually I will establish positive relationships with these kids. I seriously expect those fleeting sparkling moments to create for me a genuine respect and responsiveness. Wrong. Very wrong.

I have not been given the authority in the classroom to participate in the "redirection" program. Consequently, I have had to choose the battle that I will undoubtedly win (there are not many to choose from). Unfortunately, I am not very adept at identifying those guaranteed successes. I am continuously learning which battles I tend to lose the hard way. One of the more pointed lessons on this subject happened last week with a student named Terry who decided to make his desk a drum during the lecture. I thought it was strange that the teachers were not addressing this, and as I found it distracting, I assumed that other kids felt the same (however subconsciously). I finally told him to abstain. He looked up at me, faltered for a matter of seconds and continued. Not wanting to have a discussion while the teacher was talking, I backed off. Class 1 - Nora 0.

Last Thursday I finished the school day on a bad note. There is a girl in my class, Jewel, who is an infamous bully. I was sitting on the carpet with Lamont working on vocabulary when she walked by and said something to him that included the word "fish". I had just learned that this word is actually a derogatory term for homosexuals and that my school in particular had issues using it, but Lamont has no characteristics that are stereotypically associated with that sexual orientation, so I was struggling to figure out what had just happened. I tried to see if Lamont seemed negatively affected by what she had just said. He only looked slightly perturbed.

Finally, I asked him. She had called him "fish-lips". My mind started racing for what to say to reassure him of the inaccuracy of the statement without coming across cliche and mother-like. Finally I settled for "You know you're pretty good looking, right? Have people told you that before?"..... Failed.

I went out and talked to Her. Instead of engaging and asking Jewel questions, I talked at her, and every word was absorbed with a domineering smile. I told her that she had to find a time to apologize. Apparently he had called her "fish-lips" and "hippo". I said that I would address that later, but she had to redeem herself. I saw her enter the room with the same smile and seek out Lamont. I assumed the best. Lesson: Do not make a child lie.

Next thing I knew Lamont had disappeared. I went into the hallway where Jewel had returned. And Lamont was retreating rapidly towards the bathroom. I called him back over and stated that I understood that he had called Jewel mean names as well. She smiled. Lamont kept walking away denying that he had said anything. I didn't buy it and drew him over and said that he ought to apologize. Suddenly he started to cry and roll away from me saying that he had never called her any names. I looked at the smirking Jewel and understood that he wasn't lying. I could not deal with Jewel then as Lamont had worked himself into a real state and I felt obligated to calm him down. I walked him outside and started talking with him asking him questions. Apparently, when Jewel had apologized she said "sorry fish-lips". I felt awful for Lamont and having really exacerbated the bullying.

Looking back I would have changed everything in how I handled the situation. Unfortunately, I feel this way about many disciplinary scenarios I have dealt with thus far. Hopefully I will do well analyzing all these and make the necessary adjustments.

Wish me Luck.

Nora